And if You Do, Do You Know Why?
We may feel compelled to overwork because of life circumstances, which, in these times, can be very trying. But often, overwork is the result of an inner problem; and often, the person doesn't realize the inner source of her difficulty. And she may not even be aware that she is overworking because she considers it to be a given. She doesn't understand that it isn't necessary and that it is driven by an inner problem that she is unaware of. What sorts of inner problems can cause this? Three examples of women I have known will illustrate the variety of reasons that people may overwork without realizing why.
Difficulty Saying "No"
A woman who had difficulty saying "No" had generalized a fear of authority figures from her past. People took advantage of her and they overloaded her with work. She knew that she was too busy, but didn't understand why.
A Fear of Anything Being Wrong
Another woman overworked because she had a fear of anything being wrong. Was her parking meter in need of being re-fed? Where was a missing piece of paper? Did someone look like they needed a cup of coffee? Because all of these problems represented something being “wrong,” she responded to all of them with alarm and the same level of urgency: she would go out to check the parking meter, sift through piles of paper for the missing one, and would rush to make coffee (not her job). I didn't know her well enough to understand the history of her fear of anything being wrong. It was clear to me that her fear wasn't rational, but it wasn't clear to her.
A Demand for Performance in Early Life
A third woman who overworked had internalized what was, in her early life, an external demand for performance. This caused her to continually worry about whether she was doing well enough. She felt compelled to work all the time, even when she didn't have to; so she straightened papers that were not perfectly lined up, emptied the shredder (not her job), and kept working long after the end of her shift. She looked tired and burdened. Everyone wished that she could allow herself to rest.
There are Innumerable Reasons Why a Person Might Overwork
Some are totally external, as when one's financial situation takes a hit. Some are partially external, as when an internally generated behavior provokes an external response that causes overwork, as with the first example. And some are totally internally generated, as with the second and third examples. In all three of these situations, each woman experienced her problem as a "given," just part of life. She didn't understand that it was a problem that could be solved.
What if You are Overworking and Don't Realize It?
When using the Emotional® Comfort Tool, you will encounter the same situation that I described last week. Just as you can't wish to change a problem if you are in denial that it exists, you also can't wish to change a problem that you are experiencing as a "given," just part of life, because you don't understand that it is a problem that can be solved. But if you wish for a new mental pathway that will work to increase your comfort, this pathway, which has access to your entire memory bank, will understand the origins of a problem that is seen as a "given," and in working to increase your comfort, over time it will solve this problem.
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