Are You Able to Go Out of Your Way for Them?
That can be hard to do if you are beset with difficulties yourself. Or if you have developed habit patterns that interfere. Habit patterns such as inhibition, procrastination or perfectionism.
Does a friend need to have you intercede for her with an authority figure (in a situation that she isn't able to deal with alone)? If you are inhibited, that would be an unwelcome task. Or if you are overburdened with work, you might not be able to help.
Perhaps a friend's problem requires some research on your part. Are you able to plunge in and find the information you need, or are you hobbled by a habit of procrastination?
Can you offer to complete a task for a relative who is ill, or will you dread it because you are a perfectionist, which makes all tasks take too long to complete?
Do you hesitate to help someone because you are secretly (or perhaps not secretly) critical of their inability to do it themselves? or critical of them for other reasons?
If you feel competitive with an individual, might you not want to risk having them take the credit for what you did for them?
If you are an impatient person, will the time it would take to help someone frazzle your nerves?
What If You Always Help but at a Cost to You?
If you are someone who helps others due to a need of your own to always be helpful, or if you would feel guilty not to help, you will feel drained, and your efforts will be tinged with a sense of duty rather than freely given. You won't enjoy it and the recipient will sense your discomfort.
Habit Patterns
All of these possible difficulties: inhibition, procrastination, perfectionism; being hypercritical or unduly competitive; feeling guilty, or overburdening yourself, are habit patterns that have developed as the result of early childhood experiences.
If you are free of these difficulties, not only will you be able to respond to appropriate requests for help, you will be able to see, even before they ask, or even before they think of it themselves, what your relatives and friends need.
But if you don't experience the pleasure of helping others, if one or another habit pattern is interfering with this pleasure, my complimentary Tool can help. In Step 3, you can create a new mental pathway that will be dedicated to eliminating whatever habit patterns stand in the way.
GET THE COMPLIMENTARY Tool
