It Probably isn't Warranted

Guilt is a pathological emotion; it has no place in a healthy mind. What sorts of situations evoke feelings of guilt?  

  • People who are not used to sticking up for themselveswill at first feel afraid to confront, however gently and kindly, those who are abusing them. And they often feel as though confronting another is a hostile act, because it requires a healthy assertiveness that may feel like aggression to those who are not used to it.
  • People who are not used to putting themselves first, even when they need to, may feel selfish. But it is important to take care of your own needs even when others are expecting you to take care of them. Only when your needs are taken care of can you effectively help others. But what about getting up to care for a crying baby when you are exhausted? Although it feels as though you are putting the baby’s needs over yours, you aren’t because of your intense investment in it.
  • Sometimes a feeling of guilt may arise from something that you merely think or feel, and not something that you actually do. People naturally have a mixture of feelings, positive and negative, toward their loved ones and may feel that the negative ones are wrong. But it is natural to have this mixture because feelings are responses to stimuli and there will inevitably be times that you may be hurt or disappointed. You should simply accept that you will respond positively or negatively as the situation may dictate.
  • If you hurt someone accidentally you can feel sorry, but that's different than feeling guilty.
  • Even if you hurt someone deliberately, rather than feeling guilty, it would be better to figure out why you did it and resolve the issue that led to it.

An Inner Guide Can Help You with These Situations.   

In recent issues I have described the Inner Guide, a new mental pathway that you can create in your mind to eliminate your discomforts and help you solve problems. The course, Achieving Emotional Comfort®, that shows you how to create your own Inner Guide is now available. It can be found at: go.emotionalcomfort.com/getcourse

 
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