You Need Not!
Do you ever feel guilty about enjoying something you feel would be wrong to enjoy? I've written about this before, but it bears repeating, because it's easy to forget.
Currently, there is an atmospheric river and a "bomb cyclone" in my area of the country (the Pacific Northwest). Dire effects have occurred: high winds, excessive rain that has led to flooding, and the possibility of injuries or even deaths as a result.
There are typically minimal effects in the area where I live; it seems to be protected from serious effects of any nature: no significant wildfires, flooding, mudslides, or major earthquakes, though there is an occasional downed tree and loss of power. Whereas this weather can be dangerous to others, all I will experience is some rain and the sound of wind, so I can sit safely here and not be concerned about significant effects on me.
I miss the weather that I experienced in the Midwest: snowstorms with howling winds. So, hearing some wind, I enjoy it. But, oops! Should I be enjoying weather that will cause danger to others? Should I feel guilty if I enjoy the wind I'm hearing??
Multiple Pathways
No, because I know that I also have concern for those who will be seriously affected. We all have multiple mental pathways, and one such group of pathways includes enjoying something that others may dread and be badly affected by.
Schadenfreude
But what about schadenfreude (pleasure at someone else's misfortune)? That isn't just enjoying something that might be bad for another. It's actually enjoying their misery. An acquaintance gets demoted, and you feel schadenfreude. You can enjoy it if you know that you are simultaneously concerned for the person.
But what if you aren't concerned? What if your feeling toward that person is totally negative? That may be due to an incident in the past in which that person hurt you; your schadenfreude is an aggressive response to the aggression that was directed at you. But although it allows some discharge of tension, it also creates discomfort because you know it isn't the best response, which would be striving to understand why they hurt you and, in doing so, developing empathy for their situation.
Generalization of Schadenfreude
Or you may, over time, have generalized a feeling of schadenfreude due to past hurts. If it is generalized, then you'll feel it at every opportunity; it's a way of trying to discharge the tension that was created during the original hurt, and which continues. It's your aggressive response to a past aggression toward you.
Solving the Tension
Although generalizing an aggressive feeling toward others can partially discharge tension, it also creates new tension. It would be preferable to resolve the issue so that you can put it behind you. That is best done by understanding, if possible, why the person hurt you and then, as I described above, developing empathy for their situation.
The Inner Guide
That can be difficult to do, but your Inner Guide can help. If you have an Inner Guide and do self-hypnosis regularly, you may have had experiences like this yourself. If you don't yet have an Inner Guide, you can acquire one, for free, here:
