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Many People Do Hesitate to Ask for Help
It has been said that men are more reluctant to ask for help than women because they feel the need to look strong and capable on their own. An example often given is that of the male driver who refuses to ask for directions when he is lost. But in reality many women, as well as men, are sometimes reluctant to ask for help. Why might this be?
Sometimes the Reason May Seem Rational
Women, especially in work settings, often find that they are undervalued; this is reflected in their salaries and the lack of respect with which they are treated. They feel that asking for help will lend credence to doubts about their competence. And both men and women are reluctant to appear vulnerable in circumstances where they may be taken advantage of. These are external situations in which asking for help had best be done carefully, if at all.
But Sometimes it is Irrational
Sometimes there is no realistic reason to avoid asking for help. The reticence stems from irrational fears. Will I look stupid? Will I feel that I'll then be too much in the helper's debt? Will I be bothering the helper? And sometimes a person's reluctance stems from an inhibition whose source is out of awareness. They don't worry about asking for help. They just don't. Not asking is a given. Whether a person's reluctance is due to irrational fears that they are aware of or to an inhibition that is out of awareness, the cause usually stems from painful experiences during childhood.
If You Are Sometimes Reluctant to Ask for Help
If you are among those who would like help with this situation, you can use my complimentary Tool. In Step 3, instead of wishing to feel peaceful and calm, wish for a new mental pathway that will help you comfortably ask for help when you need to.
GET THE COMPLIMENTARY Tool