How Do You Cope with Change?
Because things are constantly changing, you have probably experienced a change, or more than one, recently. And you may have felt anxiety, sadness, or anger as these things happened. Or you may have felt happy!
Examples
Here are some examples that have happened to me, all just in the past week:
- A dermatologist whom I had seen has left the group practice she was in: bad.
- My lovely dental hygienist is retiring: bad.
- However, on my last visit to her, just today, I discovered that there have been changes in the equipment they are now using that make dental visits easier. They now have new ultrasonic equipment that doesn't make me feel like I am being waterboarded: good.
- I learned that two groups of people I had hoped to offer my course to, and had done a lot of work in preparation for helping, have become poor prospects: bad
- After discussion with a consultant, I am changing my approach and will offer my course to a new group that looks more promising: good
- A software program that previously had a deal-breaking limitation has now overcome that limitation: good
- A person whom I trusted to use COVID precautions, and considered to be part of my "bubble," has decided that COVID is not a threat and is no longer taking appropriate precautions. I will now have to wear a mask when I see him: bad
Is There any Benefit to Experiencing Changes?
Regardless of whether these changes are good or bad, they are complex stimuli. A complex stimulus is one that signals two contradictory messages simultaneously. (e.g., for a nanosecond, I feel that I can/I can't call my dermatologist.) This pause enables the mind, out of awareness, to choose a new solution for a problem. The solution can involve changing an unhelpful habit to a new, better one. Because this happens out of awareness, we often don't know what the problem~new solution is all about. But by-and-by, something in our life gets easier.
But sometimes we do know what's going on. When I learned that my previously chosen groups were going to be bad prospects, I was surprised at how readily I accepted that information and agreed to focus on a new group. I believe that the complex stimuli that I experienced around this situation allowed my mind to end my ingrained habit of clinging to an idea. I could be open to embracing a different plan. I could actually feel the ease with which this happened.
So, even when we experience changes that seem bad, there is a silver lining. The resulting complex stimulus will enable positive change.
