Indecision Can be Overcome
When you are of two minds about something, it's hard to make a decision. Although you could be of two minds about minor matters, such as how to spend your leisure time (which book to read, what to have for dinner, what movie to go to), one category of indecision that causes more distress involves how to relate to others. The newspaper help columns are full of questions about how to handle various interactions with people:
• "If I know that someone is having an affair with my friend's spouse, do I tell her?"
• "Should I protest that I am being given less money than my siblings in my mother's will?"
• "How should I deal with the mother at the playground who ignores her child's bad behavior toward my
child?"
Less dramatic, but equally distressing, are one's inner thoughts about others:
• A situation that arises from within: How much of yourself should you give to a needy relative? A lot? (Do you feel resentful?) Less? (Do you feel guilty?)
• A situation that arises from your environment: What does a supervisor's non-response to your idea mean? Does he think it's inappropriate? (Do you feel embarrassed?) Does he feel ambivalent about it? (Do you feel frustrated?) Has he forgotten it altogether? (Do you feel discouraged?)
The more you go back and forth between resentment - guilt, or embarrassment - frustration - discouragement, the harder it is to come to any kind of resolution, because the distress of the back and forth creates mental static that interferes with your thinking.
Your Inner Guide
Rather than pose your question to an advice columnist, you can ask your Inner Guide what you should do or how you should feel. How much of yourself should you give to a needy relative? As much as you can without inconveniencing yourself or denying yourself things that you need or want (including time). Then you'll feel good about your giving.
When your supervisor doesn't respond to your idea, your Inner Guide, through its knowledge of your subliminal perceptions, will be able to ascertain his feeling about the idea. If he feels it's inappropriate, rather than feeling embarrassed, you'll accept that it didn't fit in this particular environment and you'll know better what ideas will be welcomed. If he feels ambivalent about your idea, your Inner Guide will have a sense as to why, and you'll know what you should do about that. If he's forgotten it altogether, you will know that he is overburdened, and perhaps have sympathy for him.
If you don't yet have an Inner Guide, you can acquire one, for free, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ4G9VIxS94
