And Why Do They Overreact to Small Frustrations?
As COVID continues to impact our lives, many people are erupting in rage over minor frustrations. They are displacing the anger they feel over something that seems like an amorphous threat onto concrete irritants; and as the pent-up frustration becomes massive, so, too, does the intensity of the reaction to the displacements.
People abuse teachers, nurses, public health officials, flight attendants, politicians, and the employees who perform the essential services that we all need. Some people understand in retrospect that they have displaced their anger, some are puzzled by their feelings, and some are oblivious to the inappropriateness of their actions.
But Not Everyone is So Angry
On the other hand, many people go out of their way to be kind to those who they know are enduring abuse, despite their own frustrations with the effects of COVID. Why can some people be kind while others can't control their anger?
How Large is One's Reservoir of Anger?
From the beginning of our development, each time we perceive a threat (including frustrations and provocations; they are threats) we respond with anger. When a threat is enraging, we may be unable to experience it in its entirety in our awareness. The portion that is unbearable will enter a reservoir of anger.
The more such experiences we have, the more our reservoir of anger will enlarge. Then, whenever a new threat occurs, our response of anger will be augmented by a contribution from the reservoir; as much as is tolerable. Whenever you are aware that a feeling of anger seems excessive for the situation, you can know that your reservoir is involved.
So, when we witness or learn about a situation in which someone has erupted with inappropriate rage, we will know that this individual has had a difficult life: has experienced many threats, has developed a large reservoir of anger, and suffers from that uncomfortable feeling. We can feel compassion for that person.
How to Deal with Anger
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