Why Are You Feeling Uncomfortable?
Can another person make you uncomfortable without your knowing why? A person might not seem to be unpleasant in an obvious way: not critical, pushy, self-centered, competitive or overbearing. Yet you feel uncomfortable with him.
A Lack of Connection
This can happen when he isn't connecting with you. He is responsive, not to you, but to his own needs. He responds to your words and actions in terms of their meanings for him. This creates a disconnect between the two of you, which you may not be fully aware of but which leaves you feeling alone with him.
You might say, "My computer malfunctioned and I'm having trouble getting it fixed." Instead of saying, "I'm sorry; that's a bummer" or "Is there any way I can help?" he says, "My computer broke down a few months ago but I was able to get it fixed right away." Do you register the disconnect, or is it too minimal to notice?
Sometimes it Registers Only Subliminally
You may look forward to spending time with someone, time during which you want to feel a connection, yet something is missing. You can't identify what's wrong; you just feel disappointed and alone. This disconnect is more subtle; you sense it only subliminally.
How Distressing is This ?
Some people's inability to connect happens only sporadically and won't cause you any major distress. But if a person's lack of connection is frequent, or ongoing, it will help if you understand what's going on. Feeling disappointed and alone contributes to your overall stress level. Depending on the nature and purpose of the relationship, you may accept this person's problem and limit your expectations for him, or you may choose to end the relationship.
The Problem
The problem is that it's difficult to be able to recognize this when it happens. If you are aware of the discomfort that the disconnection causes, you can use the Emotional Comfort® Tool. In Step 3, you can wish for a new mental pathway to help you with this problem. If your response to it is subliminal, you won't know to ask for help. But your Inner Guide, once you get it, will detect the problem and solve it.
GET THE EMOTIONAL COMFORT® Tool
