What Lies Behind It?
Many people feel competent and strong and they are genuinely so. But for many others the surface appearance of strength is a cover behind which there is uncertainty, fear, pain, and neediness. How can a person who feels so uncomfortable inside display a sense of strength? How can they be so helpful to others, as many of them are, while feeling so weak on the inside?
Mental Pathways
We all have many mental pathways that have formed over the years as we have been exposed to, and responded to, many different situations. A young child who is being hurt by a parent responds to that distressing stimulus with feelings of fear, anger, and sadness, and this response forms a pathway containing these feelings, with resultant feelings of neediness. But that same child, when called upon to take care of younger siblings, often rises to the challenge. The stimulus of younger siblings who need care evokes a response of caring for them, and this response also forms a pathway...a pathway of competence.
But How Can Both Responses Be Felt Simultaneously?
As an adult she finds herself sometimes feeling competent and sometimes needy. And there are times when she feels both ways simultaneously. She may find herself behaving competently with someone in need while feeling inwardly needy herself. Her pathway of competence is evoked by the neediness of the other while her pathway of neediness is evoked because she identifies with the needy one. Her responses may feel “inner” and “outer” but actually they are side by side.
An Inner Guide Can Help
It can quickly scan your entire memory bank for the origins of the pathways that convey neediness, and it can find new solutions for those distressing stimuli. Over time, you will stop feeling fear, anger, sadness, and neediness. Your competent self will always be available.
Your Own Inner Guide
Soon you will be offered the opportunity to create your own Inner Guide. In the meantime, use the Emotional Comfort® Tool to learn how to do self-hypnosis. By developing a regular practice of self-hypnosis, you'll be assured of success when you create your own Inner Guide.
GET THE EMOTIONAL COMFORT® Tool
