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Varieties of Friends
How do you feel about your friends? Some friends are real gems: caring, helpful and truly interested in us. Others we may value, despite their failings, for certain characteristics that we appreciate. Still others may have qualities that are problematic but which we put up with either because we are tolerant, or just through habit or inertia.
What Can Compromise a Friendship?
In a word, lack of empathy. This can occur for a variety of reasons. Some people are self-centered because they haven't had the opportunity in their upbringing to develop adequate awareness of others. Others are so overwhelmed by their troubles that they aren't able to attend to the needs of others. Some suffer from chronic anxiety, depression, paranoia or other symptoms that color their views of others. And some have developed habits that get in the way of being considerate: they may be hypercritical, overly competitive, sloppy or chronically tardy.
How Can We Best Deal with Our Friends?
For those who are wonderful, we can cherish them and reciprocate to the best of our ability. For those who are problematic, we can assess whether we might be able to help them with their problems or, if not, whether we should tolerate their problematic behavior in order to get what is positive from the relationship. If that is the case, it helps just to be aware that we have made that decision. If we find that a relationship is causing us more discomfort than we want to tolerate, we should let that person go.
In assessing a friend's problems, my complimentary Tool can help. In Step 3, instead of wishing to feel peaceful and calm, wish for a new mental pathway that will help you understand your friend's situation. That mental pathway will have access to your entire memory of the relationship and to your subliminal perceptions of that person. You will feel a better sense of how to deal with that friend.
GET THE COMPLIMENTARY Tool
