And If You Do, Do You Wonder Why?
I have a friend who recently overreacted to a loss. She has three cats and one of them recently left. His cat agenda did not apparently involve always staying at home. She was heartbroken, and wondered why his departure was affecting her so drastically. (Perhaps you have a dearly loved pet and would feel that it was appropriate to be heartbroken if he left. But my friend sensed that she was overreacting to her pet's departure.) When he returned home six days later, she was overcome with joy. Again, she wondered why.
An Aside: Cats.
First, to the cat. All organisms need adequate stimulation not only to thrive but to stay alive. Even an amoeba will die if it receives no new stimulation (such as a change in the composition of its water). My friend's cat apparently felt understimulated at home and sought a change of scenery to provide new stimulation. But he valued the wonderful home she provided for him, and on the sixth day, he calmly walked in and ate his breakfast.
A Further Aside:
I read about a scientist who studied animal behavior, and wondered where his own cat went every Monday evening. One week he followed him. His cat traveled over a mile, and then sat on a low stone wall. Peering over the wall, the scientist saw a church. People were coming in, lights were going on, and soon a bingo game began. It went on for several hours. As the event ended, with lights going out and people leaving, the cat hopped off the wall and returned home.
A Trigger
Back to my friend: whenever one has a disproportionate response to a stimulus, that stimulus is a trigger that evokes feelings from a past trauma for which the person has amnesia. My friend's cat had abandoned her, and this abandonment triggered a feeling of overwhelming sadness. The intensity of the feeling came from a past abandonment that had been of great importance to her.
When we were children, we were easily overwhelmed by experiences because many things were new to us, and newness itself can represent a threat. We have amnesia for those experiences, but the painful feelings remain in our memory banks, and can be triggered by associatively related current events.
Can the Emotional Comfort® Tool Help?
Yes. First of all, it provides periods of peacefulness and calm: just what you need when you are in the grips of a powerful, painful feeling. And if, while using it, you wish for understanding of the origin of that feeling, you will create a new mental pathway dedicated to helping you understand why you are reacting in this way.
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