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When Someone is Dishonest with Us
When we are aware that someone is dishonest with us (or with others) it is upsetting and creates a situation of stress. What should we do? Confront the person? Pretend we aren't aware of it? Or try to figure out the best way of responding to it? The best choice will, of course, depend on the specific circumstances but often we could use some help in deciding what to do.
When We Are the Dishonest One
Lying to protect someone from evil is clear-cut. Saying "No, he is not hiding here" to a Nazi who was searching for a Jew" would definitely be the right thing to do. A little white lie such as "Yes, your recipe was good" may be better than saying "No, it wasn't very good" because we spare the cook distress and in so doing spare ourselves some discomfort at her dismay (although we will have residual distress at having lied). But other situations may be more problematic. Are there circumstances in which it would be best to hide bad news from someone? Are there ever times when it would be all right to erroneously take credit for something? What is it all right to do to help your child be successful?
The Tool Can Be of Help
Whether someone is being dishonest with you or you are contemplating being dishonest for what appears to be a valid reason, try to allow yourself a little time to think about the situation. You can use my Tool. In Step 3, instead of wishing to feel peaceful and calm, you can wish for a new mental pathway to help you determine the best solution for a particular problem.
GET THE COMPLIMENTARY Tool
